I just watched the partially edited footage of my book launch which is up on youtube. I had the strange sensation of liking myself on film. Normally I hate my photographs. and indeed, I look pale and somewhat haggard in the footage. Though my hands are normal there, only a few months ago. It was mid June. And my hair looked nice. but the thing that I found myself improbably liking was how I came across, compromised voice and all. I seemed nice. And my comments were good. Well chosen words. Watchable. Its not what I expected. Or how I remember it exactly. I found myself thinking as I was watching it, what a shame she is on her way out.