a very bad day

Another day at the hospital. This time cardiology. The plural effusion is bigger so I am trying to accept that I will have to have a pericardiocentesis, without anaesthesia. Another trauma. It is never-ending. But I feel so dreadful, it has persuaded me. I can’t drink without choking. I don’t know what that is about. And I can’t eat because it makes me sick. The doctor commented on how much weight I’ve lost. So it was a very bad day.


I am watching 9 to 5 again on my iPad. Just a week ago it was an artefact, a good but dated representation of gender and workplace politics; a dated comedic trope. Today it is not. As I try to avoid the news of Trump’s cabinet reinstating just exactly that pre lean-in political spectacle. Except it is worse. White supremacist assertion re-animated. If I were well, I would be done with struggle. How can this be anything other than or less than a war at this point.

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