C came over for visit today. and my mom and brother arrived. Difficult now to hold my own. G trying to stop ame from isolating myself. Thinking about the etiquette of visiting. A to and fro movement. A give and take. What happens when the transaction is halved? There is some fundamental breach involved. Something against the normal social contract. These are small estranging moments, that remove you from context and social ties. It is not that i would expect anything different of others. And no one is asking anything of me at the moment. But that is part of the dislocation.